“Dr. Sinclair has a really cool energy” my wife stated after our meeting with him. I agreed. There was a sense of peace, a sense of calmness, in the face of absolute chaos. Let me explain that a bit. We have to go back a few years. My first wife, Connie and I were at her Oncologists office. Her regular doctor was out of town, but the other doctor would be happy to see her. While we were sitting at his desk and I somehow brought up the success rate for cancer with him, he asked me to go over to his office door and look out at his office and tell him what I saw.
I gave him an “OK what is this about stare” and got up, went over to the door, opened it, looked around, and came back and sat down. Connie was not present, I think she was in the infusion room. He asked “What did you see”? I replied that “I saw a LOT of people in your office”. He smiled and nodded his head. Then gave me probably the most honest and grim answer I had ever heard from an oncologist. “I am going to lose 80 to 85% of those people out there”, he calmly stated. “And the 15-20% that survive I cannot tell you if it is my therapies that help, or just their tenacity for survival”.
I was stunned. I had no idea just how rough it was to be an oncologist. Then I really sat and thought about that statement. I became angry, “How could you possible put people through these often brutal therapies with those statistics and sleep at night”? And I followed that up with a single thought. “If I could just help one….” and that was the answer. Help who you can, grieve for those you cannot. I spent many years grieving over losing my Connie to pancreatic cancer. The survival rate for that cancer is just about zero.
When we met Dr. Sinclair we made it pretty obvious that we were not the average patient, and that Lynda was looking more for someone who could help us with tools to track the disease rather than treat it. Dr. Sinclair accepted the offer. We were both very pleasantly surprised, and he engaged Lynda, did not challenge rather gave her suggestions for a better outcome. He never pressed, and was always quite pleasant when we visited. I would like to say that since then he has become more than a physician but a fast friend.
During our visits, I discovered the reason behind Dr. Sinclairs’ energy, as we found that he is a practicing Buddhist. (I hope that he does not mind me sharing this on my web page). But his energy, his guidance has been of great peace when we came in, often frantic over a blood test or devastated over a PET scan. Somehow, he managed to calm us down and send us out for round 3 or 4. Eventually I became interested in what Buddhism is or is not.
I am at a point in my life where the path to life is open, but getting shorter by the day. I have unlimited options to speak of, and have determined that my spiritual world has been lacking. I have found peace and tranquility in nature, and do not get out as often as I like, but feel as though something is waiting for me to discover. So I spoke to Dr Sinclair a bit about his experience with his spiritual quest, and have begun one of my own. I like what I have read about Buddhism, as the Dali Lama puts it, “My religion is compassion”. That pretty much states what it is.. Buddhism does not believe in a god, just that souls are essentially recycled, over and over, and not just here, other planets, other stars, other dimensions. We are just souls looking for physical planes to learn from. And that the highest form of spirituality is compassion for one another. I like that thought.
So plans are churning, Lynda is tied into her Masters for two years, but I am free to do what I will. In that, finding work that suits me spiritually as well as monetarily sounds good. I hope to save up for two trips. One that will probably be just me going to Tibet, the other taking Lynda to Africa for a photo safari… Will see how those two work out.
For now? Reading and listening to various books, my sister recommended one called Radical Forgiveness. Changed her life, think it may shift mine a notch or two, very worthwhile read. Other books include Meditation for Beginners, Tibetan Dream Yoga, How to Sit, and others.. all of these leading to a new fun path in life.. The part I like is that there is no telling where the journey goes, and enjoying the journey is what it is all about.