I am shamed

I have been incredibly remiss in my writing on our blog. My uncle, the kind and generous (and ORIGINAL) JC has let me know that he is quite entertained with our sordid trips and adventures, so, with some prodding from my dear uncle Jack, here is our latest in adventures…

My wife recently ventured forth into the wilds of Connecticut and went to what she thought was a Vegan non-cooking class. Much to her surprise, and enjoyment, the course was much more than that. It was about healthy living, how to cleanse your body, and a chance meeting with some very interesting people. (And being a blooming Buddhist, I don’t believe in chance meetings, life hands us opportunities, and what we do with them? Well, we do with them). So with that, she met some really nice people and found a new niche that truly fits her passions. Health coaching while she pursues her Masters degree in complimentary and alternative medicine. She found that she had educated herself and helping people became second nature. In her mind, it was the next logical step.. pursuing education, and traveling to find new front yards.

Lynda found that the Masters in that specialty would give her more credibility, as well as better researching skills that are more credible versus “finding stuff” on the internet. This has me congratulating her as I know she has a true passion for this modality, this helping people to help themselves. Lynda spent the week with soon to be colleagues, and companions, and by the time she left the class she already had her first client. This is outstanding says I! Woot Woot! says I. Soon my wife is coming home for some serious Snugglebunnies! woot woot says I!… Of course all this in emails as my wife dropped her iPhone and much to everyone’s amazement, the voice side of the iPhone no longer functions. The data side does, so we are now limited to emails to one another. Woot Woot! says I! we can still communicate! I am a happy man.

Now, I get a phone call, from a number that I do not recognize. It is my lovely wife, and I go from “HEY Baby!” to… “Uh, what’s wrong”? Turns out she missed her flight. The hotel told her what time to be ready, and that she would be perfectly fine and on time. The cab showed up on time, she hopped in and off she went! Flying high and low through the exciting town of Simsbury to Hartford… She arrived at the airport, all smiles, going home! And the plane was boarding as she arrived at the ticketing counter. They lined her up for the next flight, number 2 in standby. Oh, and guess what else was happening at the same time? Come on, guess! Nope, nope and nope. It was Spring Break! and guess what was over sold? Yep, every flight Lynda tried to get on for standby. But m’lady was not to be deterred, with laptop in hands, she goes to Expedia and gets the last seat on the last flight that evening out of Hartford to Denver! woot woot!

Eight hundred dollars later and she is in the air! And we are still communicating through emails as the iPhone has not magically fixed itself. (I will have Steve Jobs look into this in his next life). But I have the time and arrival at Denver, and being in Breckenridge on a good day, is about a 2 hour drive. I decide to get a hotel near the airport and I will leave early as I have absolutely nothing else to do, might as well enjoy a few hours in Denver, and off I go! The snow is falling heavily, and I, being the safe guy, decide as I enter I-70, that slowing down a bit would be a good idea, and I gear down to 45mph. The guy ahead of me in a “dually” Ford (you know the kind that has four tires in the back of a BIG pickup truck) keeping speeds similar, neither of us wanting to test the great snow gods and their penchant for playing slippery games on ice and snow. We rounded a corner and to both our surprise, the traffic is at a complete stop.

The local gendarmes made the intelligent choice of stopping traffic on a curve so that to our amazement, you don’t see it until you are right on top of it. Guess what doesn’t work too well on snow and ice? Yes, brakes! The snow gods begin to giggle… snicker even, as they want to see just how fast the two of us can shut down our trucks before we plow into the waiting audience sitting in the non-moving traffic. Now? The eyes of Denver are upon us, wide and fearful the trucks both begin to slide.. this way, then that way. I am trying to judge which one is better, the sitting traffic, the guy in the truck or the meridian that is not but snow, grass and mud. The guy in the truck ahead of me manages to miss the sitting traffic where the people are in wide wonder with the “O” look on their face.. You know the kind.. the kind that right before a really nasty accident, all the spectators make that OOOOOOO sound as the victim gets creamed.

I use my driving skills from Alaska that would have made Mario Andretti proud. I swing between the still sliding truck and the traffic and launch down the steep embankment of the meridian that only snow, ice and mud, with some sprinkling of frozen grass. The crowd cheers on with that “OOOOOOOO” noise as I fly down the embankment and twist back and forth keeping it from doing a three sixty and tossing me into places that I really don’t want to explore. As the speed diminishes, my heart begins beating again. I look up and the crowd goes wild! I wave them a “Aw shucks I knew what I was doing” look and put the truck in gear and go forward.. Nothing. hmmm backwards. I have traction. Forward. slow, side to side, then nothing. Reverse! woot woot says I, and off we go for a city block, but not UP the way I want to go. Forward, and I find that I cannot climb the bank to the I-70 going West.  Solution? straight down the middle in low four, and to the road where the cops usually sit and up and over I go! woot woot says I, and back to the rig we go.

I return to the rig, no worse for the wear, but wanting a triple shot of tequila, and, knowing I can’t, I settle for just sitting in the comfie chair and relaxing. I will try again in a few hours. Time goes by and my heart slows, and my hands begin to return to their normal state. I can no longer bend steel with them… (or steering wheels). I get back in the truck and off we go to Denver. This time? a little slower and wary of those sneaky assed Snow Gods that damn near scored a home run.

I arrive at the hotel, and to my enjoyment, it is a very nice hotel, staffed by wonderful people. I lay low for an hour then head to the airport and pick up my wife. woot woot! Happiness and Snugglebunnies! We laugh about the day, and head back to the hotel. It is cold and slick but I am wary of those Snow Gods and I drive “vewy vewy cawfuwwy” as Elmer Fudd would say. We arrive at the hotel without any further incidents. The past is behind us. Plan to drive about a mile and a half to a Verizon store, pick up a new phone and head to Breckenridge. and in the distance I hear the Snow Gods chuckling again.

Next morning we jump up, we are invigorated we are going HOME! woot woot! so we pack our bags, say goodbye to the hotel and jump in the truck.. Start her up and guess what? Nope.. not that… Nope.. nope, steering doesn’t work! Seems my steering fluid is gone. but HEY! being the wrenchy kinda guy, I have some spare fluid in the truck no problem. Pour some in it works for about 30 feet, and back to almost impossible to steer. We decide to drive to the Verizon store where I try to figure out what happened. In the meantime, Lynda goes in to look at a new phone. “Mrs. Carpenter, how are you today” is how it started.. Then it went to, “Wellllll let’s see….” “No insurance on your iPhone”, and not time to upgrade, and well, looks like yer little “oopsy daisy” is going to run about 500.00. Not sure if Lynda’s jaw is still on the floor there or not. In the meantime the very nice gal at the store tried putting in a new SIM chip to see if that might work and the iPhone Gods and Steven Jobs were not looking out for her that day.

The gal at the store said, hey, we have options. and this is what they are. We traded in her half working iPhone and spread the cost out over a year. The new and improved iPhone 5? Came to an additional 27.00 a month on our bill. woot woot! (I think) and in the meantime, Mr “I can fixit” decides that this problem is past his skill set, and sets forth to find a solution. Together we decide to do another night at the hotel so Lynda can make her coaching appointments and so I can find a local repair shop. I call what I later discover is a local Subaru dealer who does not work on Toyota’s but, knows someone close by who does. I drive about 5 miles with steering wheel that truly hates to function at this point. I manage to make it to the shop and they proceed to order one hose and replace 3 others. They show me the hoses… cracked from years of use… and the pressure hose? Not sure, but my “Ride of the Snow Gods” may very well have knocked it loose, but they weren’t sure.

Regardless for 225.00 they had me out the door in a couple of hours. I was very impressed. I drove back to the hotel where Lynda had kept all her appointments and at the end of the day? All was good. We enjoyed the evening in the hotel, got up the next morning and played “Ground Hog Day” with no repeats. We returned to our home on wheels, thumbed my nose at the great Snow Gods, and retired to our living room, deciding at the end of the day, it was all good.

However, I had some errands to get done prior to leaving the next day to Kansas. I lept into my repaired truck and drove up to the office of Tiger Run RV Resort. As I stepped out of my truck, once again, I heard the chuckle of the Snow Gods… I brushed it aside, as I am done with you! Nyah! to you I fly the middle finger! Yes! See my poor opinion of you as it flies PROUDLY!.. and in to the office I go. I speak to the ladies at the desk, flirting a bit if you will, as I have overcome the trials and adversities that have beset and destroyed lesser men! We banter, we chortle, enjoying the last day at Breckenridge ready for NEW lusty adventures on the road.

I leave the office with a dance in my step and a smile on my lips. Once again, I hear laughter in the winds.. I pay them no heed. Leaping into my newly repaired and trusty steed, I fire her up and back out.. and the laughter in the wind? Yeah, it turns into one of those damn belly laughs. My steering wheel doesn’t work again. I go from happy as a lark to “I am gonna kill somebody” and head back to the rig. I pop the hood and discover that the mechanic that had worked on my truck (I know he was frustrated) didn’t put the clamp on one of the hoses, and it popped off. I found the clamp, put the hose back on, and clamped the hose down. No problem, “Mr Fixit” to the rescue! However, I was out of power steering fluid and the closest place was 2 miles away.

“No problem!” says I! woot woot! Let’s go for a jog says I! woot woot! So I go inside, dress warmly and head on down the road. Mind you I have NEVER run at altitude and we are at 9500 feet. I make it to the building center where I find two jugs of steering fluid as I blindly grope for them.. Running at altitude does wonderful things to your body.. your lungs, eyes, legs, yeah, pretty much all of it. But I am a tougher man than most! So out the door I go with steering fluid in pack and find the local jogging trail next to the road. (One I had not seen on my way to the center). I am a happy runner! woot woot says I

I return to the rig and realize that I just put every ounce of energy into that run that I had. I poured a jug and a half of power steering fluid into the truck, went inside and passed out. Woke up two hours later with my lovely wife gazing at me with sparkles in her eye and laughter on her lips.. and her loving words?

Over did it, didn’t ya?

and in the distance I hear that damn laughter again.

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Categories: Adventure, Adventure Travel, Backpacking, Camping, Downhill Skiing, Family, Hiking, Hot Tubbing!, Living Passionately, Love, Reconnection, Religious, RV Travel, Scuba, Ski, Spiritual | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “I am shamed

  1. Had a good laugh–or two–before retiring for the night. (In sunny San Diego, without the snow, ice, truck and/or phone repairs, and didn’t cost us a penny)!!! Love, Your Aunt

  2. Jack Carpenter

    Mr. Carpenter you are truly a sicko. But I love you anyway. Have a great forever. Jack C.

  3. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about
    this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a
    few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is great blog.
    A great read. I will definitely be back.

  4. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
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  5. This info is worth everyone’s attention. How can I find out more?

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