Two days… today, then tomorrow, and we take off to fulfill a bucket list trip..
I know I know, lots of people have been there, and many chose to live there. but for us? this is almost a year in planning, and it is about to come to fruition. So let me rant about that for a moment. Lynda and I have had some spooky life changing crap slap us about the head and shoulders over the years, in particular, serious cancer scares. The roller coaster was one that I would choose out of every time had I been given that choice. And the thing that has driven us to our current situation was a conversation with my younger sister some time back. Lynda’s diagnosis had been bad enough, but my younger sister had decided it was time for a serious conversation.
“What are you going to do if she doesn’t make it”? was the question. Never once, in the entire time we had been dealing with cancer, had that thought ever crossed my mind. It damn near brought me to my knees. I stumbled… I stuttered. I was at a complete loss. The idea that my wife could die came roaring at me like a freight train from hell. and I was stuck on the track like a deer in the headlights. It was Connie, my first wife who died of pancreatic cancer, again. It was Mom, who died from lung cancer. It was death walking behind me, about to make another call.
I stammered a response, “I don’t know”… go skiing, go hiking, buy a motor-home and leave life; leave society, and vanish. I knew that if I lost her, my world would go up in smoke, and like the ashes, that is all that would be left to me. So left with that thought, I did something my heart would never let me do… I went outside and I lost it. No one knew, and it was no one’s business. This is where I did something I do very seldom… I went outside and asked a favor. Some call it prayer, but this? No, this was a favor. I have always been under the impression that there were 4 spirits of those gone by that were keeping watch over me.
My first wife, Connie, my mom, my grandmother, and the 4th I could never quite pin down.. and it dawned on me, Lynda’s mom. I asked for a favor, simple enough, give us more time, and in return I will give you a story to watch and to enjoy. Just give us more time…. I don’t ask for anything, I always have believed that you get what you give… which brings me to another story…
Lynda was diagnosed with a “spot” on her shoulder in 2008 and the doc said it looked like a metastasis. We freaked. We looked to alternative treatments and found a doctor in Phoenix Arizona who had a pretty good record of treating cancer. So off we went, spending our life savings and everything we could scrape together for the treatment. While we were in Arizon tight for money, scared to death, and all I could focus on was Lynda and how she was dealing with treatments, I pulled into a 7-11 for gas. (A store like 7-11) I started pumping gas and flitting from one thought to another, but mostly just hoping for a miracle. Out of nowhere, a really BIG black guy appeared in front of me. I never did see where he came from, just kind of popped up and began to speak. Now, I am not being racist or bigoted, but he had to be one of the darkest skinned man I had ever seen and although he wasn’t tall, he was incredibly stocky, the kind of guy that looked like he could bend iron with his bare hands.
He spoke eloquently, kindly, and told me his story of how he got to where he was in life. The story was like one of many I had heard, bad economy, lost a good job, and down on his luck… but as I looked at this man, I really looked at him. I saw beyond the rough but clean clothing, and saw something I could not believe.
There was a palpable aura, a glow coming from this guy, it was of angels… I kid you not. and at this point, I had the incredible feeling that here and now, at that moment, I was at a crux of our lives. A turning point, Karma in full focus. Our lives would entirely depend on how I treated this man. I could easily brush him off like I did most panhandlers, and live with the results. Or help, and live with whatever Karma dealt out.
It was if my world was holding its breath to see what I would do. I listened as he spoke, and I watched his eyes. I have heard that the stories that eyes are the window to the soul. And the soul I saw before me was grand. Beautiful comes to mind, an energy that never again I think I will ever see. The light and the energy that emanated from him was calming and energizing in the same moment.
I asked him to wait a moment, went into the store and came out with some money.. about 60 dollars, and that 60 dollars was a lot more than we could afford.. And I handed it to him. His eyes shone, I mean not like a person who just scored some money, but more like the universe clicking into place. What I witnessed was like nothing I have ever seen, it was as if god himself had smiled on us. I think there is a bible verse (and I am not a Christian), but it says something like
“Thank you” and “Bless you”… Not “God bless you”, but “Bless You”. and he walked away.
Now, he very well could have been just another hard luck story, or just another panhandler looking for an easy mark. But I choose to believe otherwise… It is said that angels walk among us, that at times, they present themselves to us, and how we treat them, how we act toward them can be a turning point for our destiny. I look back at that moment, and the impression that was left on me. With that entire incident in mind I think our destiny together, our lives, Lynda and I, was turned from what would have been a loss into something more…
So project years forward, 4 to be exact, and here we are. Lynda is healthy, I am as well, our lives have become what many dream of, what we dreamt of, and are still creating. It has been beyond any expectation I have ever had, and a comfortable feeling of much to come. Belize is a dream born of reaching out and of giving, of a life worth living… So ladies?
My promise, partially fulfilled. A story worth watching… and I promise that as long as you keep an eye out for us..
I will give you a story worth watching. Stay tuned…
Erick and Lynda