Well, another weekend has passed, and with that, some small accomplishments. We went on a hike with some friends on Saturday, up a hill we used to do each Saturday. It is called Iron Mountain and is a 6-7 mile round-trip hike with about a 1000-foot elevation climb to it. A nice hike but tends to be hot this time of year.
For a while, I was running it, where you run what you can, and hike fast what you cant. And did that for a season.. I have discovered that when you slack off , you pay for it… and we did.. Lynda has a pretty good blister on her heel and I am still feeling my legs… waaaaa… but it was fun to be with friends again, and get some decent exercise.
We also pulled everything out from underneath our rig, and purged once again… We have 3 more totes we are going to try to fit into our storage box.. That should prove to be interesting. And with that, some realizations, and once again, I find myself tap dancing in a minefield. While listening to AC/DC
Let me explain. We have Lynda’s mom and dad’s ashes with us, as well as some of my mom’s ashes that I intend to keep.. She is safely tucked away in a Folgers Gourmet coffee can. You see, when she knew her time was ending, she decided she would do the hard part for us kids and call around to cremation sites… There, she chatted with a fellow that told her that for about a 1000.00 they could cremate her and that for another $350 to several thousand dollars, we could purchase an urn..
She pretty much said “What? Why so much?” “Why cant they just take me home in whatever I come out in?” and his response was something like “That would hardly be appropriate”. And she again responded, “What do I care? I’m gonna be dead”! “Hell you could put me in a coffee can for all I care, and wait, wait, that’s IT! A Folgers coffee can is PERFECT!”.. “But make it a Gourmet blend can”…. And so a smattering of her ashes remains there.
Then there is the other container… It holds my first wife’s ashes. Connie. I had originally tried spreading some of her ashes in Key West, and for me, that was an emotional disaster. Later, when Lynda and I remarried, I released some in Kauai, and that was healing to a degree. However the bulk of her ashes remain in my keep. So that would be the minefield that I dance through, an emotional and spiritual one.
And that is the tip of the emotional iceberg. You see, I lost Connie to pancreatic cancer, and we all know that Lynda came dangerously close with her diagnosis of breast cancer back in 2006.
I can honestly say that on this planet, there is nothing save one thing that I truly fear. I lost all fear of death; there is no man on the face of this planet since my DI’s that could instill any sense of fear in me… I will face my death as I have faced my life, on my terms.
However, the thought that I could have lost Lynda is something that shakes me to my core. And the fact that we came close makes me guard her even closer…. So to spread my Connie’s ashes is quite the little dance… and in that, one I have successfully avoided since 2001.
And that explanation may give you some insight as to the reasoning behind our decision to travel. While Lynda has dodged the bullet that cancer tried to hit her with, neither of us know what the future holds, a long life or a bombing at a marathon I happen to be running in.
We made the choice to go live our dreams our “picture perfect life” while we still can. And while many of you may not be able to make that kind of a choice, may we suggest that you start on your bucket list items now, before something tragic happens… before you can’t.
And this is something I live by every day, without fail. I tell Lynda exactly how I feel, every morning when I get up, and every night when I go to bed. I make it a point for her to know exactly what she means to me every moment of every day. Shit happens folks, and other that right here right now, there is no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow. So make it a point to tell those you love how you feel… every chance you get…
Here is to Happy Trails… from us to you all. Make it the best trail you can.